Thank you for that. I think one of my problems in this whole situation is dh's refusal to acknowledge his abandonment issues let alone work on them. And this stuff comes out in the end and causes great destruction. But acknowledging it takes a lot of courage when it has caused you and others so much pain, much easier to blame other people. I feel a lot more empathy now I know how agonising it is to feel abandoned. I know I can't fix him but I would like to understand him and to help him heal in whatever limited way I can. I'm keeping my dream in my head in order to empathise instead of react and only consider my side of things. I need to be really gentle with him.
And I also feel like I will eventually be grateful for going through this because it's made me look at my blind spots and my beliefs and my reactions and behaviour and hopefully be a better person and better wife as a result. I can't waste this much pain by going back to the oblivious person I was before.
Good day today, went to an aerobics class with a friend, had a quick run in the gorgeous weather, now to get some work done before a class later and then taking the kids to their afterschool stuff. Ds1 is stressed by having to do forms for his new job and I know how intimidating bureaucracy can be so I will see what moral support he needs later.
