It did take me ages. I have been in IC for a couple of years and working through the edges of it, but I think as long as H was there he was available for me to a) use as an emotional crutch and b) blame if it didn't go my way. I still do a bit of that - if I am honest - but this separation has robbed me of most of that and while it's been incredibly painful, this is old pain that needed processing one way or another. I expect one day I will be grateful for it, though always sad for the damage it's caused my children and my H. I have a lot of abandonment stuff of my own - so I can perhaps guess at stuff from your H's point of view. People with damaged little children inside of them can act crazy and they are no fun to live with and it isn't your fault.
