That sounds like a really really low point, Dilly. And I don't think you're wrong about the plants and the gardening being significant to him in a way that you can see, and perhaps he's not yet ready to admit to himself. How do you think he'd have explained or justified his behaviour to himself or you at that time?
And no - best not to have expectations for the behaviour of other people. I fall into that trap myself, and it's hard and almost always leads to disappointment. But I think you're seeing things very clearly, and as time passes you will see them more clearly still - especially once your H's work settles down and you see him a bit more often in April. And whatever information you do get, I think you'll be able to act on it.
