Sorry it's taken me a while to respond. Thanks to all for piping in. It really does help to know that I am not alone in this.
Adam - My H is quick to anger. He has terrible road rage and is the first to complain when he feels an injustice has been done to him or the children. But this is always in the safety of the car or at home where no one can retaliate. Outwards, he projects reasonableness and control. He has not brought it up other than in passing. I responded "I forgot" and that was it. When I say he is trying to control his temper, I know that if that conversation had happened and I was there, the anger would have come up, but he would have pushed it back down. I know that this is not a good thing, but at the same time it shows that he is starting to care about my feelings or he cares what I think.
Alison - D12 wasn't conspiring with H, it was more of an "haha he's made at you again". She has learned not to get anxious when he gets mad at me. It doesn't effect her anymore because it doesn't affect me. She finds it funny. This is a good sign. They don't see danger in it anymore.
Dilly - the distinction was made by DnJ. His thread is in the MLC forum. I joined this community after reading his thread. He is a man of infinite patience in the face of crazy. If you get a chance read his thread do. It often reminds me of what unconditional love really means.
Paco - you are too hard on yourself. You are detached. You can be detached and still love. I didn't think you could be detached and still hold out hope - and sometimes I still falter, but it's possible.
DV - always always great to hear from you. There have been times when, given I don't know you, you have been my truest friend. Keep on moving on. I am thoroughly enjoying reading of your adventures.
