13 years and 2 kids pt. 5

[Hurt213]

Journaling:

So my ex was here to visit the kids yesterday, and I had the opportunity to tell her about the situation with D5. She is just as concerned as I, and we are definitely at the place, where I don't really care about us, and she hasn't for a while, so its easy to convey that energy I used to pool into resenting her decisions, and let it work towards as great a co-parenting scenario as possible without being disrespected or taken for granted, which I am no longer tolerating.

I also informed her, that I would appreciate it, if she left the house cleaned up and decent on switching days, as it took my very sparse weekend time with the kids away, if I was to use 1-2 hours every friday cleaning after her week.

She showed clearly, how she has no respect for me, and that the resentment is just under her smiling surface, how did I get to that conclusion you might ask? Well my interpretation of her just rolling her eyes, looking at me like, who are you to tell me anything? attitude, was beaming from her.

She then proceeded to tell me, how she always cleaned the house, and at least she didn't leave service in the wash etc . <--- I actually think, that she believes this to be true. Oh well, I can't wait for her to get her own place and my as well. That will make this a lot easier since we apparently have evolved very different standards of keeping house since she left me. I can't but think, that she most likely puts more energy in cleaning OMs house than her kids, but I can't use that thought for anything, so not going there.

I am really not interested in this mess anymore, so I said: "I can understand if you are annoyed by service left behind by me, and I will do my best to not let this happen again - However, duvets in the living room couch, filthy floors, toothbrushes on the floors (wtf?), service in the wash (she never does according to her, so I pointed out that the washing machine was filled with clean service, so she just filled the wash with the dirty service, she then thought about it, and realized that she did that), food stained cabinets and surfaces all over the kitchen and I could continue, was not okay. I did my best to ensure, that she and the kids have a clean house to come home to on fridays, so that they have time to just be together after a weeks absence, and I would appreciate it if she would consider taking care of the house so me and the kids can have the same quality time. Then I left it at that - didn't want to get into a fight or anything, not worth my energy, so I left the room before she could engage.

She spent the rest of the afternoon in the house, and didn't mention it, so it was fine.

Just wanted to follow up on that, and I felt empowered afterwards, admitted.

Me and the kids are going for a walk in the forest with some friends, so have a good afternoon .