I saw this a few days ago, but didn’t have a chance to comment.
Originally Posted by NicoleR
It's still an odd feeling to feel alone..some days I still wake up and I can't believe my husband is gone. I often feel sad when my neighbors, colleagues, and friends complain about such menial things in their lives and yet they have loving husbands caring for them and helping them. A partnership is such a wonderful thing. Life is already difficult as it is. To share it with someone is just so great. I don't know if I'll ever have that again.
I do agree with you, that having someone to share life with is really great. It’s my hope that both of us can find that again, and I believe that you will, too, even if it takes some time (and I would need to prepare myself for that, as well).
In the meantime, I would like to encourage you to make yourself the best you can be; for yourself, but also for your D. You both deserve the best, and for you to be the best person for her. She will need that for the young woman she is to be in the future.
Originally Posted by NicoleR
One father of a kid at my daughter's school took care of his kids for two weeks alone while his wife was away. We see each other almost every day so I'd ask how it was going and he'd complain about how hard it was. When his wife got back I asked her where she went and she said "a yoga retreat in Bali." I've never been apart from my daughter for more than a few hours since she was born, which I don't regret, but I can't imagine having such a reliable husband that I'd feel comfortable going away for two weeks. It must be really, really great to have such a husband!
My W (or STBXW?) goes away for work fairly often—sometimes works 2nd shift, sometimes does overnights, or goes away for a couple of days, a few weeks (4 weeks or 30 days), or has even done up to 3 months away (about 90 days), and she will be looking to again do so this September, up through December, for training for another position / promotion (she will be gone for 3 months or so this fall).
My L is a successful, accomplished L and career woman—and even she can’t fathom why W would want to be gone for stretches like that.
Earlier, in my MR, I was more grumbly and complain-y about it (and I probably shouldn’t have); but over the last couple of years, I’ve come to more of a place of acceptance, and even in the last couple of weeks, there have been instances where she’s needed me to take care of both of the boys because she has work stuff going on. W asked me about it, and I told her “that will not be a problem.”
It’s not exactly easy, but it gets easier, and I’ve learned to manage and cope better; in light of recent events, I’m also trying to embrace the extra time with them, and realize that for myself this is a glimpse into my probable future, so I should learn to accept and embrace it more.
