You're doing well, Dilly. I think it's good that you're thinking all this through, and talking it over with your IC and that you're considering how equal the contact is and how much of your H's issues are to do with your marriage and how much are just to do with him. I guess at some point you need to decide if you want a man like him - you have a long long history, and he is making small changes, and the man he is now isn't capable of the marriage you want, though perhaps there are small signs he is moving in that direction. I get how you'd both be so afraid of going back to the past, and yet not quite able to take a leap of faith forward into a different future. Perhaps the holiday in April will be a real watershed point - both in terms of his work stuff being a bit less demanding at that point, and you both having a decent stretch of time together in a way that you haven't done for a long time. And April isn't that long away now. I think you might have a lot of clarity after that point.
