Got a life, now what?

[97Hope]

Worked cows together this am. Went as usual. Was invited to go pick up hay, but declined. I don't want to be available for everything.

Detaching is becoming easier as this goes on. You guys are so right. Working on myself and letting him go has been the best thing I could have done.

I can't imagine letting him control my emotions every moment like in the beginning. It was hell.

Now I'm just kind of doing what I think it right, based on my faith. Not concerned with his reaction/response/thoughts or feelings on the matter. I don't know if we are definitely headed for D, but I know I will be ok no matter what.

That feels like a huge victory. I wonder if I will still feel like that if/when it actually comes down to it. On the other hand, I wonder what I would say if he said he was ready to come home. Based on his actions, he isn't someone I want to live with. He has to work on himself too. I know Michelle's books say, that can come later. I'm wondering when that later is.

For now, he has his place, I'm at home and I'll focus on that so I don't drive myself bonkers.

I sure hope anyone reading this is in a good place. I didn't think it was possible to do this and be ok, but here I am. If you aren't ok, reach out and get good solid support. And take care of yourself, emotionally, physically and spiritually. That has been, for me, the difference in how this has gone.

Thanks, ya'll.