I’ve seen (and read) a thread here about Retrouvaille.
Anyone currently here have thoughts about it?
They do have a weekend in The OC in early May, and I spoke with people at the booth at the RE Congress.
One of the husbands there gave me his wife’s phone number to share with W—to ask W to contact her.
I did express concern that W wouldn’t be receptive to it (mind-reading, I know), and I am concerned that it could feel like pressuring. How they suggested I frame is: 1.) You have nothing to lose anyway, so why not? (At least for my mindset). 2.) Frame it as working on communication for the kids (for both of our mindsets, really). 3.) Besides, worst she can say is no, anyway.
I also relayed W’s thoughts about not pursuing Catholic MC because she doesn’t want to be judged re: birth control. They said: We don’t judge, and won’t even expect her / us to speak to the groups about our issues. (I also know that Retrouvaille is not necessarily even for Catholics.). I have divorce papers? Their perspective: they’re just papers.
I remember being at last year’s RE Congress after W’s initial ILYBINILWY BD (back around Feb. ‘18) spending tons of time praying, reading TDR and the articles, and basically crying my eyes out at Adoration for W and our family. I guess it was (is) a miracle I am still attending this year as a (barely) married man. This year, though, I’m less optimistic—2x4 me if you must, but I 95% expect to attend next year’s RE Congress without wearing my wedding band, or at least as a D’ed person.
That said, I did express my hope, when leaving their booth, that hopefully next year I’ll go home after RE Congress to her and the boys. If I’m talking out of both sides of my mouth, so be it.
They did tell me that I have to want it—I have to lean in more than W wants out. Tbh, I doubt my strength and resolve at this point some days. One of the H’s at the booth said that I must want it at least a little bit—because I stopped by.
Look, I get it—I’m a mess right now, and get the lumber ready and fire away if you need to and I need it. For me, spirituality in a MR is important, and is a quality that I find attractive.
All this said: Thoughts about Retrouvaille in general (?) Suggestions / recommendations on how to proceed on this with W? Thank you in advance.
