d5 apparently fell and bumped her knee two days in a row (ex texted me a picture tonight, asking for advice on how to treat it) <-- 2x4 me for not letting her figure it out herself
No that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. I think a lot of people misunderstand this, you're really just trying to avoid pursuit behavior. IE, finding excuses to text her. There's no reason not to exchange messages about the kids.
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I came home with two tired kids who were ready to kickstart the weekend, however the house was dirty, clothes everywhere and dirty dishes all over the kitchen. I am going to tell my ex firm but in a relaxed and "cool" way, that the time I use to clean up the house every friday is time I dont get to have with the kids. I leave a clean house on switching days, and I expect the same to some degree.
Perfectly reasonable request.
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She can ignore my request if she decides to, but I feel like, it is a indicator of the lack of respect she has for me, that makes it okay, to leave the house like this.
You are 100% correct, it is EXTREMELY disrespectful.
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I can't set a boundary, because I can't enforce anything if she chooses to bite me off, so I can do nothing but state that I do not find it to be acceptable.
Well, you could tell her that you are going to terminate the nesting arrangement if she doesn't start cleaning up before handovers. Or you could tell her that if you must spend time cleaning up her messes then you will start leaving an equivalent mess for her to clean up at the end of your week. That may sound harsh but you're no longer together as husband and wife and you've got to be as firm with her as you would be with a tenant you're sharing a space with. It's either this or grin and bear it.
