Steve, thanks for your advice. I sort of blew it though...more on that towards the end of the post.
Monday night:
H was using his cell phone, then he asked to see mine. He said he wanted to check features on it. I didn't believe his reason but I gave it to him anyways. Then I looked at my phone and he had sent the following message:
"I don't know why you are avoiding my calls, but you better have a good reason. I'm going to bed now, my battery is low so I am going to charge it."
I looked at him and asked him why did he sent me this? He said he made a mistake. I said "Yeah right, you sent it to me by mistake huh? So she's avoiding you now? " He didn' t answer. Hahaha, H must feel pretty dumb about that one. I know he doesn't want me to know that he and OW are fighting.
Tuesday night:
I checked the messages and they said:
H to OW: I know you didn't call me to tell me you were going out cause you went to play pool with those guys. I know you said they are just your friends, but then why hide it from me?
OW to H: I didn't answer cause I didn't hear the phone, and then you said you were going to sleep so I didn't want to wake you.
H to OW: This is the last straw, I am not going to answer your calls anymore. Didn't you read your email?
OW to H: What email? Baby don't be mad at me.
OW to H: just calling to say goodnight, I love you
H didn't respond or call her all evening.
Then last night (wed) there were a lot more text messages between them, I can't remember them all but here are some of them, not necessarily in order:
OW to H: I have already apologized to you and you are still mad at me.
H to OW: that wasn't an apology it was just you making excuses for your inconsiderate behaviour.
OW to H: You say that you love me? Then why are you making such a big deal about this?
OW to H: You need to decide if you love me and let this go. I will give you one week.
H to OW: Don't threaten me. I don't need a week. I will give you one day to apologize.
OW to H: you need to get over this jealousy thing cause I can't handle it, doesn't our love matter?
H to OW: Why do you keep mentioning Jealousy? That is not what this is about. I don't need you. Maybe once day we will bump into each other.
OW to H: So that it then huh?
Of course I am thrilled that she is threatening him and that they are falling apart. I do feel bad for H though cause I know he is hurting.
Last night we went out for drinks. I promised myself that if he brought up any R stuff that I would validate, validate, validate. Unfortunately, I couldn't do it, and I think I lost a good opportunity to show H that he and I can work past our problems.
He brought up stuff from the very beginning of our R (5 yrs ago) I of course got defensive cause he totally misread my intentions back then. This of course got him upset and he said that I never let him finish, that he always tries to tell me how he felt and I just get angry and interrupt him. H said he will never bring up this again, and that I will never know what he was trying to tell me.
The thing is, I had heard all of this before. I am just so sick of hearing about it that I didn't stop to think that maybe he had something more to say about it. That maybe he had reached some kind of closure or was going to put it behind him. I don't know. We basically ended the night by him saying that he thinks we are 'incompatible'. GREAT!!
I don't know if he will ever believe that he and I can work out our past issues. And to be honest, I don't know if we can either. He has a problem with seeing my side of things, and jumping to conclusions. I am have a problem keeping my mouth shut and letting him say things.
This morning I tried to do some damage control, I was nice to him and apoligized for last night. I am scared that he was testing me and I blew it. Oh well, no use crying over spilt milk I guess. I will just have to work much harder on this validating thing. I hope that H doesn't make up with OW again cause he has totally given up on us...
