It is draining, isn't it TryHard? I am in a better place this week than I was last week, and the thing that has made the difference is to turn my attention away from H and stop trying to get him to do whatever it is I think I want him to do to make me feel calmer, more secure, more trusting, more safe, more loved. Instead I am working on giving those things to myself. It is a bumpy and uneven process and I am sure I will be in dark places again. The exhaustion of treading through the awful into the unknown is real. But I have learned I have more ability than I thought I did to comfort and care for myself, and I don't want to lose that. Is there something kind you can do for yourself today - some way you can make yourself feel better that doesn't rely on your W doing or being or saying anything at all?
