You're having a bad week, and the IC's suggestion about an affair might not have helped. But it sounds like the week has been horrible at least in part because of facing up to the reality of the changes he hasn't yet made, as well as concentrating on the small ones he has. I think you can be patient while going dark, and you don't have to have an R talk or warn him about going dark. You don't even need to ignore him - you can respond, as Fly Solo says, but be unavailable for future plans and not initiate any more of your own. I don't think it would take more than a few weeks of that before he was pretty clear in his own mind and ready to express to you what he wanted.
