Uncertain of What I Have (Thread 7)

[Adam04]

Hey Bo,

What are your reasons for telling your friend / not telling her, and what do you think would happen either way? Would you regret anything?

Do you feel you need to cover up for your W or something? Just curious.

When I got BD, W was telling her family. We agreed that we could tell anyone we wanted, but when she found out I told my brother eventually, she didn't want to face him. When she found out I told my closest friend and we went over for his daughters bday party, she was alienated. I held it in for 2 months before telling another soul what was going on. I had to tell my boss and she cried. Worked with her for over a decade and some of the women remember my W from my previous location. She'd bring my older one to work sometimes to see me.

Last week when it was Spring Break I got a little laxed and spent some time with the in laws. They all know my W version of our sitch but my BIL invited his neighbor who doesn't know. W and I sat next to each other during a dinner we had at some asian restaurant and she footed the bill since it was most her family. The guy was thanking me and us to treating him out. I said no problem and brushed it off. There's going to be a lot of ppl I come across who I will share very little with. For the most part I stopped sharing. But damn does the info sometimes come out like vomit when you don't want it to. I didn't rehearse my story when apartment searching so when I was speaking to the sales director she asked if I was married and some other question about the kids, where we lived etc, and I told her they were moving and she had this look and I was like ugh, now I have to explain my mess. She is a very attractive woman and also went through a D. She shared some personal stories to break the ice. She's remarried for 10 years now so life does go on.

Don't know if any of that helps or not with you doing you.