Still in limbo

[Living]

YESSSSS!!!!

I feel like a million bucks right now. I’ve come so far. Thank God for growth!

H came to me today and told me that he applied for the job positions in the other states. I said great! I hope that you get the job. So when we first discussed him possibly applying for another job yesterday he told me he wanted me to stay in the house and he would continue to pay the mortgage, home owners insurance, and for our security monitoring. I would cover the utilities and other needs for myself and our son. We would both contribute to the rennovation cost for the house. Yesterday when he proposed this I didn’t even address it. I just basically told him what I said above.

So today after he told me he applied for the job he said but I still intend to take care of what I said I would if I get the job. I said great here’s what we are going to do...

I said we are going to go to a lawyer and have this agreement documented. I said we will file this as a legal separation. I explained that this will ensure that we are able to fulfil our financial obligations responsibly. He said can’t we just draft the agreement up and have it notorized? I said oh no buddy, I want a legal binding contract outlining our agreement. He said in a sad voice...”OK”.

He then says, I want wording put in the separation that this is with the intent of working on the M. I told him you can’t work on a damaged M living in 2 different states. Not when there’s trust issues. He said people do it all the time. I responded I’m not people, I’m Living!

I then told him I won’t sign off on any aggreemt that contains the wording “with the intent on working on the M.” He said fine. Then he says so what you’re saying is that it’s over? We are done? I said what I’m saying is that we can’t work on this M in 2 different states, take it how you want.

He then tries to tell me, I can’t guarantee that the M is over and that after he works away for 2 years that I won’t take him back. I responded that I’m sorry that you’ve romanticized how this will go but I assure you I won’t be sitting around waiting on you. Nope, no, and He11 NO! Of course he acted shocked.

So I ended the conversation by telling him I hope he gets offered one of the jobs and I wish him the best.

I may have not handled things perfectly but I’m so proud of myself. I’ve come a long way since I first logged on to this site. I’m sure there will be days that I’m sad and that’s ok. I’ve made my position clear and I’m as serious as a heart attack.