World is upside down right now

[othstr]

Some journaling and some questions.

First off, I am feeling really good. I feel like I am GALing like a boss. Last night, I took S to a comedy improv show. He was so intrigued by the show and all the movements and different voices and music that was happening, and I really enjoyed it too! My brother and his family are coming in town and staying at my house, so I'm getting the house ready for them, they come in late tonight. Tomorrow we are going to the zoo with the entire family and having game night after that. Saturday I am going to a family wedding. Throw in exercise and boot camp class, I feel great! Monday, back to work after spring break. I am definitely growing myself and looking forward to the summer and being able to do so many fun things with S.

Even thought I am doing so well, at least I feel I am, I do have moments where I can't help but think about him. Sometimes something sets me off, other times, it's just my mind thinking. I had an interesting trigger today. I went with my friend who is looking for a bridesmaid dress, to a wedding dress shop. I agreed and didn't think anything of it. Well, walked in, saw all the wedding dresses, pictures of happy couples, had my mind going a little crazy. There were people trying on wedding dresses looking very happy, my thoughts were, good luck, hope it lasts for you, and you think you know him, you might not. I don't like thinking like that and being so negative, but they just popped up. I tried to concentrate on S, who was with me, and my friend. It didn't drag me down too much, but just enough.

I had asked before what I should tell people that ask if I've started the divorce process before, any thoughts? First off, it's none of their business, why do you need to ask. But, I have just answered, I'm not emotionally there yet. That normally shuts them up. This is not a regular question, but it has happened a handful of times.

Here's my big question. S is 3 months, H has taken him once before, he is taking him this Saturday. He lives with OW and that is where he takes him. What are your thoughts on asking to meet OW and seeing where S is spending time. If I were letting anyone else take him to their house, I'd see where they live and meet the others that live in the house. Or, is this kind of saying I am giving you "permission" or what you are doing is ok with me. Any thoughts??