Thank you. I hear the pain in your words. Your desire to understand your H. But sometimes, this process is not about them, it is about us. I also read the words of an intelligent, compassion and kind woman. You have the strength to get through this. You might not R, but from the short time you've been here, I know you are going to be OK. You just need to remember who you are.
I read somewhere that you need to learn to be alone because then you will never be lonely. This is a lesson hard learned. But it has been learned.
It has been a very long process. I did not think at the start that I would still be standing over a year in. I gave myself lots of deadlines, lots of lines in the sand. Six months, if he starts dating, if he goes on this holiday. But in reality, it is not a choice. I stand because I feel deep inside there is still hope for us. I think it was DnJ on DV's thread who said that there is a difference between moving on and moving forward. I have not moved on but I am moving forward. I honestly think that moving on will be organic for me. It wont' be precipitated by a particular length in time, a formal separation or a D. It won't be precipitated by a discovery of him having an affair. It will just happen.
