KJ, I am glad that I can be a source of encouragement to you. I know we are both on difficult paths. Thanks for your support and words. I do agree that H still has feelings for me, and even though he says he is not in love with me, he insists that he still has strong feelings for me. I know that it isn't really about sex with me or the OW. He doesn't NEED to come to me for it cause he can get it from her, IF he wants to. He admitted to me that he rarely does have sex with her, and that he enjoys it more with me. That tells me that the affair is more of an EA than a PA. Unfortunately, I think it will take much longer for him to get over her because of that....

Small update:

Tuesday night (last night) my cousins, who H used to hang out with, invited H to go watch the hockey game in the east end (where OW lives).

H hasn't gone out with them for months. He always makes up excuses cause he was busy with OW. Well he decided to go, and then said he was going to go out afterwards too (meaning with OW). Usually he goes with her on Wednesday straight from work.
He called me around 11pm, he told me that my cousin asked him to drive him home since he lives in our direction.
Of course H didn't tell him that he wasn't going home, so he drove him all the way to the west end (a 45 min drive from the east).

Then he called me, he told me that he was going to go out. I said "you're going to drive ALL the way back to the east now?
He said yes. I said he was nuts, then he replied "Well I'd rather go out tonight since I am already out, I don't want to WASTE another day tommorow going out." I immediately said sure and that I would talk to him later. I don't know if he realized what he said. He actually said 'waste a day'. So now spending time with OW is a waste? Hahahaha. I am not going to remind him what he said, I know if I question it, he will try to make some excuse like he didn't mean it that way, etc.... But he can't take it back now....

So instead of the usual dinner and drinks that start in right after work and last all night... he only spend a few hours with her. He chose instead to spend his night out with the guys who happen to also be MY family. Of course he squeezed her in... I hope this trend continues and I wonder how long she will tolerate it.....

I am very happy today, a bit too happy. I have to remember not to get my expectations up cause then I will crash even harder at the next disappointment (and I know there will be many too come still....) OR maybe I will just revel in these good feelings, I deserve it don't I? and then when I do crash, I just have to remember not to let H notice.....