Rocky Road 2

[Miler]

I'm glad I just read R2C's new quote from the DB forums. Geez am I having a tough day. I just want to yell...WTF are you waiting for????? We have had so many good times recently, our communication is great, we are listening to each other's point of view and discussing the best outcome for everything from what to eat to major parenting decisions. She'll give me one ILY and then seem distant for 2 days. S16 and I go on a weekend trip for his track team. Boy, this is much needed! I feel myself being attached, enmeshed, and needy over the last 24 hours.

To combat this, I've pulled away a little more. Yesterday, that was met with, "Is anything wrong?" So I'm guessing she senses that. I said, not at all, you looked super busy this morning when I got back from dropping the boys, so I just went about my business. While I was in the shower, she came in and started talking to me about her business. I just validated and listened. Then she started crying saying that she was overwhelmed. I simply said, that does sound overwhelming. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. She then asked my opinion on some things. We had a decent evening with very little interaction. Because I realize i am being impatient and needy, I try now to initiate conversation too much...though I will. I feel that she senses that. She's subsequently been a little distant and left the house for a while to run some errands and stop by the coffee shop to get some work done.

We leave tomorrow afternoon. I'm excited! It'll just be me and him, and I need this time away from it all. Sometimes, it feels like I'm just faking it. Sometimes, I'm not sure I want to be with her anymore...though I can't really tell if it is really that I don't want to be with her or I'm just tired of being in limbo. Bad head space day for sure...