Ugh, well I came away from IC feeling more confused than I went in. We talked a bit about wanting to run away and not doing so. We talked about Monday and about the email I sent dh. 'Did he respond?' said my IC. 'What do you think?' I answered, and we both laughed. It's not really funny though is it?
Now I have something stuck in my head which I wish wasn't there. I told my IC how dh offered to meet me early but then shooed me away also an hour early. I said that I don't want my parents to know because they'll assume dh is having an affair. My IC said that he was suspicious about dh having an affair too, and why was dh in such a hurry to leave on Tuesday evening. I said I thought it was because he'd had such a tough day at work that he needed some alone time. I have spent such long time now trying to trust that dh isn't having an affair, and now the thought is stuck in my head again.
Our bank account is joint, and I can't find anything suspicious in there (I checked a lot in the early days). Dh has another card which is accessed via an app and there's nothing on there either, the only weird thing I can see is maybe some tickets to an event but that might be something he's arranged with friends and not told me about yet. He has an Amex card which I have paid in the past and which he usually sticks work stuff on I think, actually recently there's been something funny with that because he said it was in credit and he usually emails me the statement so I can pay but he hasn't done so this month. I texted him asking if I'd paid that. He has another phone which he said he bought because his old phone broke. I bought him a new phone a few months ago but he still has a regular bill come out on another credit card towards that phone, but it might be that he hasn't cancelled it (he's terrible at cancelling anything, so that would be typical rather than not). I was terribly suspicious when he bought the new phone, but he might not even have it, I don't know. All things considered it's not strong evidence, and the kids have been to his flat so it seems unlikely there would be any evidence there.
I don't know, I need to trust him on this I think. It was just upsetting, is all. And I feel like it's distracting from the real issues if it's just a suspicion.
