Gordie 23 one year after she dropped the D

[roist]

What is the worst that can happen if she does BD you again? What is the worst that will happen if you state your mind and she doesn't like it? Picture the worst and then turn it around to realise that even that isn't so bad.

A year ago you had an appartement lined up and were ready to move out and live without her antics. I am sure a part of that was to end your pain, but surely another part of you saw a good life ahead without W. Something that helped me at similar times, was to imagine my life without W. Honestly it is full of so many possibilities and opportunities. It may not be your first choice but it can be great. Knowing that, can help remove your fear.

2x4 over. It is understandable that you have anxiety and it is even probably due to DB that you are in this situation!!! DB encourages the LBS to hold back, so as to not overload the WAS. And to an extent that still applies to you as W is not fully committed to the M. BUT, recently you decided to take a leap of faith and try a little more to give her what she asked, knowing she isn't fully baked. This is part of that.

In your shoes I would dedicate a bit of my time to looking up communication skills and advice about being more open with your feelings. I am sure that you have read many times that this topic is one of the reasons M's fail in the first place. It is vital in a healthy M. You need to loosen the restrictions of DB to try be more open, confident and yes manly.

I am sure that part of your problem is ingrained in you and isn't due to DB principals, but I am also sure that you can do this. At first it will be uneasy but with practice and time if will become second nature.

So work on the source of your anxiety. understand it and overcome it. Simple words but a big task.

Best wishes