Dealing with a complex MLC and/or Wayward Wife

[LH19]

Just wondering if your sitch is WAS or WW?

I caught her first EA early with the neighbor. I think he was looking for someone to talk to and when he found out I knew he got spooked and ended contact with my ex. I believe there was another one right before she filed but can't be sure. She is "chasing the butterflies in her stomach effect" (her words) but I don't thinking it's working out to well for her right now.

I already feel a desire to start other relationships. I know some of this is revenge as well as a 'crutch' for detachment. I plan to take sexual sabbatical for sure - but doesn't feel right to sit and 'wait' while she's doing girls gone wild.

That's an issue you should work on with IC.

2) She's a 'mother' at heart and with such young kids I think/hope the draw of the family structure breaks the fog sooner.

Maybe but these scripts typically stay on the same timelines.

3) my IC also doesn't 'think' it would take that long (although he's only met her once). I know it will never be quick enough for me but that fact that she is moving out (not me), going from house/yard to apartment with very active boys, as well as a financial drain. She's going to be getting a taste of reality on all fronts VERY quickly. My gut tells me it will mostly depend on the EA's and if they ever turn into anything that might string this along. I don't really see her starting something 'new' right now that develops. I think she is going to play around physically and see where the current EA's go (cause those are her biggest attachments). She's got a couple of EA's/PA's that fill an emotional void, but I honestly don't think they will fill the other void once the family structure is gone.

Your IC is most likely telling you what you want to hear to keep you coming back for more. Again, I agree just not with your timeline.

I don't think either of these EA's are really 'available' for her. The one that causes me the most fear is actually married (bad relationship, sleeping on couch) but he seems committed to reconciling his for the family. Could be wrong, but don't see him leaving his sitch just cause she's now available This, and if she start IC to start to realize this is fantasy... Remember, I think I caught this early and the fact that I caught it and therefore help facilitate BD she may not be as 'locked' in as others.

Just like mine I caught it early on. The problem is it didn't take it's natural course and my ex is searching for that high again.

I'm also starting to look forward to the time and space myself... Maybe I will realize sooner than later that I'm just on interested in waiting, or even wanting her back at all.

That is very likely.

Which brings me to my next question.. Why is it so Black/White that we (LBS) should not have/start other relationships especially with a WW? Logically I can see how it COULD just add complication - but in reality we do not have a M/relationship right now.

Because that is being selfish and you are using and hurting another human being.

Logically, I could also argue that it may facilitate the 'loss' she needs as well as the feeling of detachment/moving on from her.

You are trying to use logic and reason to figure out an emotional human being. They don't understand logic and reason.
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