I can see the problem. if you were together, you'd collaborate on making many of your decisions, or at least you'd take what he wanted into account when you made your own decision. If you were apart, you'd make your decisions on your own in your own and the children's best interests. But you're in this limbo, and there's a decision to be made and he either won't or can't collaborate with you on making it, and you're not able to take what he wants into account because it isn't clear what that is.
If you don't need to get support from your parents, then it doesn't seem like there's any benefit to you to sharing this with them. And yes, it sounds like you don't need to decide right now. Though I sense your patience with his 'I don't know' is coming to a close.
