It sounds like things are goin well for you..of course not the exact way you want them, but like you said, slowly...
I too ML with my H, in a way to keep him close to me and usually its me making the moves, but last time, it was more him...I also, in my case since she is many many miles away, figure at least he is getting his physical needs met my me and not OW. And like you, I know he is not telling OW that we are ML
