Hey don -I’m home sick today and I’m now taking a trip down memory lane.
My ex’s lateness was beyond the norm. It was not someone that was just 15 min late. Here are some examples.
I remember how early in our dating history on we almost missed a flight to the Caribbean. He has trouble waking up in the mornings (alarms would blare for hours) and we didn’t live together and I kept calling him and calling him cause he was so late. His friend had stayed the night supposedly to help him wake up for this early flight. But his friend slept through the alarms too. Almost missing the flight put me on edge the whole vacation.
Another example is my wedding shower. My mom wanted to throw a surprise wedding shower for me at this very expensive venue. My ex got me there over an hour late. I missed the cocktail hour and my mom was so upset because she put so much work and money into it. . I remember prior to the shower, he had us stop at a bank so I could take money out to lend him for his luxury car (which I disagreed with cause we were spending money on a wedding he wanted - I did not) God this was such a red flag - but I was used to this at that time and it just didn’t register.
My ex was 2 hours late to my sons birthday party. We were having a barbecue at a local park. My parents had helped me pack all the stuff, make everything, set up and bring it over and my mom helped watch my son. My ex slept in late. All I asked him to do was pick up the cake. He left to get the cake and I have no idea why it took so long. Me and my dad were waiting with all the stuff at the park and I was calling up guests and my mom to tell them to come later. Ex had all the barbecue gear. Ex got mad at me for getting mad at him. He acted like I was a nag and had no right to be mad at him for this.
My ex was invited to a fishing trip by my brother. (I didn’t go) my brother said they were trying to stall to get the charter boat to not leave without ex. He was so embarassed and annoyed.
He would get to work after 12 usually. His bosses would get upset but over looked it cause he took on their responsibilities. He’s smart, so maybe he knew how to do things for them that they needed. But he missed lots of meetings and it was a problem.
I did not mean my ex boyfriend complaining cause he wanted to break up. I meant my ex husband doing things like not coming home so that I would complain and he could say I was nagging and abusive and critical. BD happened cause he told me I used his dads death to instill guilt and I felt so bad about that for so long. It was Father’s Day. My son thought he was going out with his dad. My ex slept all morning and then went to visit his dads grave with his mother. I took son to the park and my son was 4 and crying cause he thought I left without his dad. My ex did not get to the park till 5 30 pm at which point we were leaving. I told my ex “your dad was a generous man. He would have rather you spent the day with your son” My ex told me that was the cruelest thing any one ever said to him. That I was using his dads death to inflict guilt. And I was verbally abusive and critical and he was moving out....
Btw he stayed with us in my parents house for a few weeks because he did not want to move back in with his mom cause she was too stressed cause his grandmother had died and he didn’t want to be around her. When my mom heard that... she packed all his stuff for him in a box. Which pissed him off cause he didn’t like people touching his stuff. (I told him she thought she was helping)
