Alright, now I know he is trying to drive me crazy.
Perhaps.
I am not sure you can really know his true motives when he may not even know them himself.
Are you being driven crazy by him?
Hmmm. Not quite accurate.
Are you being driven crazy by his actions and behaviour?
Hmmm. Closer.
Are you making yourself crazy by focusing on his actions and behaviour?
Originally Posted by OneArt
Why is he suddenly charging things to this card after 2 years? Is this another of his creepy ways to get me to contact him or start a fight?
Again. Perhaps.
Expectations dear friend. And negative ones at that.
Yes, his sudden credit card useage does look suspicious. Is it an effort to get to you. Maybe. Maybe not.
If it is, why do you think it is negative. You and he are somewhat getting along. His language useage is different (than expected ), so something is most likely going on with or within him.
He has reached out lately as well. All this is going to take a toll on him; he is well out of his comfortable zone. So he might be trying to start a fight,he might just be buying a magazine, he might be trying to reach out to you to see what you will do.
Drop the expectations. Stop making yourself worked up. His behaviour is not making you agitated, your response to him is.
If you have negative and low expectation, I guarantee he will meet and live up to them.
I have taken today off, and in one and half hours D16 will be performing in our local piano recital. I have no expectations as to STBXW attending. She said she would, so I’ll see. What will she be wearing? Expectation at zero. Which means it could be anything from a gothic teenager, a chicken outfit, short shorts and a bra, to a normal women of 47. My own problilities put the normal 47 year old woman clothing as the least likely, chicken outfit slightly ahead of that.
As to her actually showing up. For a while my own negative wishes and ideas were, I hope not. No expectations there, but I didn’t like the negative outlook. So 180. I do hope she shows up. Bring OM if she wants. I will talk to her if she leads that way. She has no power over me anymore. I choose to take the high road and will see how this day goes. I have no expectations of anything, it is a bit strange when compared to last year.
You are correct $150 is not worth making a stink over. You know you can control you, and only you. Two parts there.
You can’t control H. Trying to figure out or guess his next move is exhausting.
You can control you. Are you exercising that control? If these two transactions are really driving you crazy then ask him about them, or accept he can do that and let it go.
Your assumption that he is maybe trying to start a fight, could very well be. He could also be trying to start a peace, and really is out of his depth. He just wants to talk, maybe. I don’t know, but I can see what you are expecting.
Control. Find out what is going on, if you choose to. Then behave accordingly. Btw, no matter which way he is actually going, I think your response is, or should be, more or less the same. That may highlight the importantance of knowing his motives, vs knowing yourself.
(((Hugs)))
I’ll let you know how today goes. I have expectations I will do fine, well awesome actually. That is an expectation I know I can meet. Those are the goals and expectations I focus on.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
), so something is most likely going on with or within him.