Well, I just sent him an email asking for some honesty and to let me in. It was longer than that but that was the gist. It might have been completely the wrong thing to do, I'm not sure I care if it was TBH. It was calm and open and expressed as positively as I could make it, definitely no threats of abandonment just a desire to take care of him. We'll see what happens. I can't make him respond to it, I can't control him. Maybe it was too much, I don't know. I do know that things can't continue like this, I need at least some hope or if after 7 months he runs away from an email asking for honesty then maybe it will never work out and I'm better off cutting my losses.
The hormones: I saw the family planning nurse recently for a new prescription. I changed pills about 3 or 4 years ago because I was getting hormonal symptoms and that really helped. Then after BD my hormonal symptoms got a lot, lot worse, so I'm assuming it's partly me getting older and towards menopause and partly extreme stress and my body reacting to that. I told the nurse about my PMT and she recommended a few things. Last month was actually a bit better, this month has been the worst ever. So I'll give it a few more months before I see the doctor and see if things improve again. I do exercise a lot, eat well and try to take care of myself as much as possible so from a lifestyle perspective I do as much as I can. It really [censored].
Right, I need to get this work mountain out of the way for tomorrow's deadline.
