Oh wow... that link was from after your divorce and a few months after my BD. My replies are on there. We are like old friends now lol.
Regarding discontinuing friendships with friends that cheat. I get it. It would be better if cheaters did receive consequences from society. It would be less acceptable. My ex is a follower of his peers and his friends were divorcing and then he did. Imagine if friends discontinued friendships. Would that change things?
I have a friend from high school that cheated and gaslighted and divorced and is a horrible person to be married to. I think he’s possibly sociopathic. But I would still hang out with him. He knows I don’t approve. We debate each other’s perspectives in a very unemotional way. He knows my situation and actually helped me a bit when I was going through the worst. Gave me the cheaters perspective but also helped me in other ways. I look at him as someone that’s fun to talk to and hang out with but like I said, I certainly would not set him up with anyone I knew. I have another friend thats married and flirts a lot and does stuff I personally do not approve of. But I still hang out with her cause she’s fun.
I am also very strong in my morals and I know myself and never follow my friends. I’m kind of viewed as the reserved one in my group. For me, it’s hard to discard people maybe? Or I think I just stay a bit detached from friends where a I don’t take their actions personally, like I would someone I am dating. I don’t feel like they bring me down. I do keep them at arms length though and they are there more to socialize with so maybe a different definition of friendship.
Now here’s a question that kind of came up on Dawns thread... would you continue to eat at a restaurant like chick filet if you loved their food yet disagreed with their politics? I personally can’t relate cause I hate that type of food - but what about listening to a Michael Jackson song? Or watching a woody Allen movie? Child pedophila is even worse then cheating yet do you turn Thriller off the radio? That’s a harder one for me because the thought of children being hurt Makes me very emotional but I grew up on Michael Jackson songs. What about politics? Regardless of the party, Most politicians do cheat, yet they are running our government. how do we vote?
