Is it bad that part of me is kinda looking forward to this, though? I do look back and wonder ‘well, what if I dated or married so-and-so?’ I know I can make myself crazy with the what-ifs, so it’s a cheeseless tunnel that is not worth pursuing, although it does creep into my head every now and then.
It's not a bad thing. You probably have a better grasp of what you are looking for and might very well find someone that is a better fit for you. But at the same time I'm not sure there's anything any of us can do to ensure this will never happen again. Sometimes WAW's walk for a reason and sometimes they don't. Personally for better or worse I will never again be able to let my walls all the way down like I did with my XW. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't with her, I would have kept my guard up a little. Now I'm not saying I can't be in love and enjoy a relationship, as you've heard me say I really enjoy my R with my GF. But I will never depend completely on her or anyone else for support. If I get some it's cool, but if I don't that's OK too.
Quote
AS, you’ve been right about so so much on my thread (and in general), and I hope and trust you’re right about this, too. I haven’t fully read my D papers yet—I’ve seen at different places on the forum about reading them when you’re ready, so I’ll wait a little bit—not too long, of course. I mean, how much rejection have I dealt with the last year or so—what’s reading about a little bit more?
It's pretty anxiety-inducing reading through the paperwork for sure. Very unpleasant. Just hang in there!
Quote
I’m admittedly nervous about visitation—I’m scared that the courts would give her what she wants for visitation (sole custody for the next 6 months while breast-feeding; then every other weekend and Wed—Fri weekly). Even though I’ve been told (by L, and by family who have been through this) that the courts would equalize visitation, and I’m sure the courts will hear about her travel plans, and how much I care for them when W’s running around for work.
Well in general the attitudes have shifted in the last 30 years or so. Courts don't like deciding who is at "fault" in a D and why someone deserves more custody, it's way easier for them to just equitably split things down the middle. So yeah I'd say your w's chances of getting 100% custody are pretty slim. All 3 of our kids were breast fed long after XW went back to work, XW pumped and the milk went wherever it needed to go. That's the technology now, kids don't have to get it straight from the source every time.
Quote
she asked me if I was worried how this would affect my job, because I teach morality / ethics. I told her “I’m not the one asking for a divorce.”
Who teaches AA- reformed alcoholics. Who counsels drug users- former addicts. Who better to teach morality and ethics than someone who has been through this and had to apply high moral standards to their behavior in the face of someone who has none.
Originally Posted by LH19
I ran a half marathon and do CrossFit and my friends talk about me like I'm a professional athlete lol.
LH- are you doing the Open? This is my 3rd year. Next year is my last in the 55-59 age group, then I move on to 60+ (wow you've got to be kidding me, LOL!)
