I understand the mentality and packing her stuff is a definite 180. I refer back to my notes from Divorce Remedy. Michele recommended that we keep the following question in mind, "Is what I'm about to do going to bring me closer or bring farther away from my goal?" Michele also says timing is everything and you must be patient.
Are there examples of others that have taken this step and were successful in having their W reconcile?
Curtis, basically what you have is a woman who no longer considers herself married to you. She feels that she can behave however she wants with whoever she wants whenever she wants and it is none of your business. The extent of your involvement in her life is how much she can take advantage of you to help pay the bills or babysit. You are so caught up in the post-BD fog that you actually think this is someone you want to reconcile with. You need to hear and understand this- YOUR OLD W IS GONE. She's been body-snatched by this lying cheater. Your goal should not be to reconcile, it should be to create distance with this monster and rebuild your life, with the hopes that some day she will change and maybe reconciling will be an option then. But man she has a long way to fall before that time.
As for your question, read TXHubby's threads, he had a lying cheating W that he spent months trying to placate and it drove him to the brink of a heart attack or nervous breakdown. He finally got sick and tired of being a patsy and went full man-mode and shut down on her and truly GAL'd and quit caring ANYTHING about her. He didn't care what she did, who with, etc. She wasn't even worth saying "good morning" to anymore. She suddenly realized what she was losing, snapped out of it and literally begged him to take her back. So yes, the tough love approach has led to recon for some. But here's the thing- you can't fake it. You can't pretend to want to kick her out while secretly fretting and chewing your fingernails over it because she will see right through it. You have to want her gone with every fiber of your being. So my advice, don't pack up her stuff because you are not there yet. Instead, focus on you. Work on you. Quit focusing on your lying, cheating W and leave her to the mess she's making. At some point the scales will fall from your eyes and you will see who she is now rather than who she used to be, and THEN you will be ready to boot her the hell out.
