I know how you feel Curtis. I've been there and done that. LH is right, she is so disrespectful. You need to have the "pack your stuff and move out mentality". And that's easy for me to say and harder for me to do. So don't take me the wrong way please.
I still get that nervous, uneasy feeling. I don't want to go home. In a lot of ways, I don't want my W to be there. This stuff eats away at you, and I am sorry for myself that I didn't face my fears sooner. Some here would say I still haven't faced them. Good luck man.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
I know how you feel Curtis. I've been there and done that. LH is right, she is so disrespectful. You need to have the "pack your stuff and move out mentality". And that's easy for me to say and harder for me to do. So don't take me the wrong way please.
"I will enthusiastically HELP YOU pack up your stuff mentality"
Easy to say hard to do. The harder it is to do, the more it is the right thing to do.
Pick any mantra that sounds good to you:
"I do not want to be with a woman who does not want to be with me"
"I want to be with a woman who want to be ONLY with me"
"I will not share my woman with another man"
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Wow, packing her $hit is quite the consensus. A close friend recommended the same. It’s tempting, but I keep thinking of the kids. I’m not ready to expose them to all of this yet.
In spite of her choices, I still love the woman deeply, but I’m not allowing her words and actions to have as much of an emotional impact on me anymore.
Me:41 W:39 S:9 D:6 T:20 M:16 PA:8/22/18, BD:11/6/18 PA discovery & IHS:12/3/18, W moves:4/2/19 R’ville:9/27/19, I give D docs:3/1/20 W home:4/5/20 (due to CV-19), W NC w/OM:4/13/20 6/1/20
W just texted: “I will be staying at divorced BFF’s the remainder of the week.”
Sounds informational, does it warrant a response? I guess that means I am with kids everyday?
Me:41 W:39 S:9 D:6 T:20 M:16 PA:8/22/18, BD:11/6/18 PA discovery & IHS:12/3/18, W moves:4/2/19 R’ville:9/27/19, I give D docs:3/1/20 W home:4/5/20 (due to CV-19), W NC w/OM:4/13/20 6/1/20
Wow, packing her $hit is quite the consensus. A close friend recommended the same. It’s tempting, but I keep thinking of the kids. I’m not ready to expose them to all of this yet.
In spite of her choices, I still love the woman deeply, but I’m not allowing her words and actions to have as much of an emotional impact on me anymore.
You don't love W, you love who you thought W was. She is not who you thought she was. The more disrespectful the sitch is on here the firmer the LBS should be. Start with having respect for yourself.
Go read NMMNG
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
Get everything out of master bedroom that you do not want. Box it up and put it in the garage.
Start going through the house and identifying things you do not want. Obviously you do not want her clothes. Box them up and clearly write clothes on the box. Put it in the garage.
Treat her stuff like it was your stuff. Respectfully.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
"I will enthusiastically HELP YOU pack up your stuff mentality"
Easy to say hard to do. The harder it is to do, the more it is the right thing to do.
Pick any mantra that sounds good to you:
"I do not want to be with a woman who does not want to be with me"
"I want to be with a woman who want to be ONLY with me"
"I will not share my woman with another man"
I understand the mentality and packing her stuff is a definite 180. I refer back to my notes from Divorce Remedy. Michele recommended that we keep the following question in mind, "Is what I'm about to do going to bring me closer or bring farther away from my goal?" Michele also says timing is everything and you must be patient.
Are there examples of others that have taken this step and were successful in having their W reconcile?
Me:41 W:39 S:9 D:6 T:20 M:16 PA:8/22/18, BD:11/6/18 PA discovery & IHS:12/3/18, W moves:4/2/19 R’ville:9/27/19, I give D docs:3/1/20 W home:4/5/20 (due to CV-19), W NC w/OM:4/13/20 6/1/20