In the aftermath of Hs latest affair 1/2018, we went to MC for 6 months. Got nowhere. H could not stop ping-ponging from work on M, status quo, or S with intent to D. We then did discernment counseling. The purpose is to make one of those decisions. IF you chose work on M, it's then intensive MC with wholehearted intent to repair marriage. Does it always end up repaired? No. But both spouses need to commit to it. Status quo is exactly what it says. Don't change anything....for now.
H and I went to 4 sessions. Although throughout all of MC, and at the beginning of discernment counseling, I was adamant I want to try to R, He could not move closer to any one choice. When pressed, he probably was closer to S, but he couldn't/wouldn't do anything or say anything about it. In the end, I'm the one that said I thought he should move out temporarily for him to hopefully get a clearer picture of what he wanted. In retrospect, I have my doubts this was wise, but the situation was bringing me down and keeping me stuck. I hated who I was becoming with status quo.
We made it through 4 sessions out of the designated 6 before I suggested that.
So, I guess for me it got me unstuck, and moving forward. For H, he is still ping-ponging to this day.
