I Was Jerk (Part 2)

[Ready2Change]

I was always pretty good about just listening and validating (for years), but then when W's criticism of me ramped up I started to lose interest in suffering through her venting. Her venting took the form of repeating the same story 3+ times. She just couldn't let it go. After 45 minutes of negativity every night about this or that I would finally say "look was there anything positive that happened today?" to which she would get upset at me. I get it, I get that was not the right play on my part, and I no longer play that card. I just validate and then either change the subject subtly or leave the room for something to avoid sitting through the 2nd and 3rd times she will tell the story. I have found validation and then having an exit strategy is the way for me to balance her need to vent and my need to avoid endless rants and maintain some sanity.

I think I do something similar.

H"W, I plan on going out to the garage in about 30 minutes. Want to talk about your day before I go out?"