I hope he will change his mind - or at least, even if he never falls in love with the dog, he will stop seeing it as 'evidence' as his needs not being met - he is looking out for evidence of that everywhere at the moment and finding it where it doesn't exist. I can see why - but I can't live my life around that.
Got my goodnight text last night and sent encouragement this morning. Cordial exchange. He tells me about his day, but didn't ask about mine. I got big good news at work and I wanted to tell him, but held back. I guess that is going dark?
I have big urges to reach out tonight for extra reassurance. To get him to remind me he plans to come back and work on things, and to ask him how he feels about therapy on sunday, and to ask him to go in with an open mind, and all kinds of needy and controlling stuff. I am trying not to contact him from a place of fear but only of love - and I'm mainly in fear tonight so keeping myself to myself.
Plan for tomorrow - work, kids, some GAL and house improvements. I have IC in the late afternoon and have plenty to talk about regarding reactivity and his anger - trying to get myself into a place where I can respond to anger from an adult place, rather than from a petrified traumatised child place. I am not there yet but I want to get there for my own sake.
