You have a different set of skills to learn than most here. You have had some time to reflect on what you need to change. Do you get to practice these with STBXW? Does she notice a change? Do others?
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712