Rocky Road 2

[Miler]

MC update:

Yeah, so, this is going to take some time. Nothing major...I probably said 20 words the whole session. W focused on what she was working on.
- Listening and trusting her internal voice and instinct
- Taking time for herself and allowing herself to be selfish
- Healing from emotional pain over the last 20 years

MC requested that I listen to her story and subtle ways that she is "reinforcing" the changes I/we have made (e.g., by her opening up more and being vulnerable means she feels safer around me and trusts me with her thoughts and feelings." She requested that W lean into the relationship more and "love me with words." Reinforced that W is scared of physical intimacy because it has been used and a band-aid or mask in the past. W says she feels like we have everything a marriage has, minus the sex... I didn't disagree, but my internal voice was screaming "BS!!!" We have no words of affirmation or non-sexual physical affection. Some days I feel like a very close friend.

I'm working on my patience for sure. GALing like crazy, detaching, emotionally separating myself from the R. Some days I feel like I'd be just fine by myself if this R ended. Some days I good with that feeling, other days I'm not.

Interesting that she was getting wigged out last week that I might be leaving her...