I want to start off by saying that I think you do a really good job at GAL. As we discussed in the past I would recommend you start to increase your efforts in the excercise arena.
Thanks, LH. I’ll be hitting the pool again this morning. Perhaps I should swim for longer. Is that what you mean by increasing efforts in exercise arena, or am I off-target?
Originally Posted by LH19
Now 180s IMO you need to focus on. Being and living alone and taking care of your young children. When I read your journaling I get the impression that you need a woman to take care of you. I pick up from your writings that you may struggle just to be able to feed the kids and you.
I apologize if I give off that impression—that is not the impression I wish to convey. I have lived on my own before meeting W, and with W’s travels for work, I’ve learned to pick up a lot of the slack of taking care of myself and our oldest (then-only) son on my own. I’ve had to do it, though I’ll admit I didn’t always enjoy it early on, but over time (especially in the last year or so) I’ve learned to manage it better. I guess the change is mindset—learning to embrace it.
When on my own, for meal prep, I’ve learned to keep it simple (but tasty), tactics like loading / unloading dishwasher while OS is occupied and dinner is being made, so I can cut down on the post-dinner time I dedicate to clean-up, as well as packing OS’ lunch while I’m concurrently making dinner. Now that we have a 2nd child, I’ve been learning how to mix in getting YS’ bottles and lunch made, as well as getting bottles’ washed and cleaned. I have been treating nights last week (like last Tuesday and this past Saturday when she’s been out for work or being with friends) as a practice run for what is to come, so I’ve been trying to work on that. Maybe it doesn’t come through in my writings / postings.
Originally Posted by LH19
I suggest you table the dating for now, learn to stand on your own and take care of your kids for at least a year. Your still very young and have a life time to worry about another relationship.
Right—I agree.
Originally Posted by LH19
As for your W, remember boundaries. Don't let her talk to you like that.
Truth. Need to keep that in mind—set and enforce boundaries. I mean, what’s the worst she could do to me at this point? (Well, except get sole custody, or have the courts enforce her intended custody arrangement. Either of those would be awful in my eyes.).
Originally Posted by LH19
Just out of curiosity, what are her snarky remarks about? Could be potential 180s.
I wondered if this could be the case.
Yesterday at lunch, I fed YS, while W was eating, and then we switched off when she was done. As I was eating, YS kept looking back over my way and was visibly excited—he would make noises / squeal, kick his legs, and I made a comment that he must be excited because Daddy is eating lunch, too. (I am trying to keep PMA, but I also don’t want to risk arrogance. Here I was also try to have some fun.) W then tells me “it’s not always about you.”
Last night, before YS catnapped on me, I was carrying him around and I would talk in a baby voice from YS’ ‘perspective’—that particular instance, I said in a baby voice “I love my Daddy.” W overhears this and basically tells me that I need to watch myself saying that, and I also need to balance it with telling YS directly that I love him. The thing is, is that I do tell YS I love him—a lot, but I often say it in a much lower voice, and I often whisper it to him.
A lot of times recently her snark has been about my asking for clarifying remarks about something someone (either OS, or W) has said—but I wasn’t able to hear it. I’ve been asking ‘I’m sorry, what was that’ or ‘what is OS talking about’—and I’m either just-enough outside earshot that I can’t accurately hear it, or something else is distracting my hearing. In any event, can’t hear it.
Could be avenues for a 180–these are things to consider. Could be W getting bent for no reason.
