Sorry I have been keeping up (I have been making myself get out of the house more often to stop thinking of SITCH all the time.) It has helped. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot.
I don't know where to start. I guess I started with your last post. Now IMHO:-
Quote: When he says he wishes one of us would let him go.
should I tell him that he is the one that needs to make the decision?
That seems like the best answer. As for him wanting you to let go and find someone else. You can let go and not find someone else. And after the hurt you have went thru it might be a while before you want in another R if this don't work out. You might want to point out to him that. Maybe use your tack I always come across the wrong way.
Quote: When he asks me why I still ML with him, knowing that he is also ML with OW?
should I ask him to ask OW that question instead, that she needs to know the whole picture, that he is not being fair to her or me by keeping the truth from her? She is basing her decision to continue this affair on false pretences. (of course she wants to be with him, it's all fun and games, she doesn't know the effect she is having on our family or that he is torn up inside, or that we are still acting like man and wife - I know the truth and I am still here....)
Honey I seem to think that you are giving the woman more heart than she has. He has tried to break it off with her and she still pulls him back. I think she may know what she is doing to your family in some form or another. She may not get the big pic. but engough to know she is doing damge. And you knows that may be what she is after. She may already know the truth.
Quote: If he says he knows he should be with me, but doesn't want to hurt her?
Now don't take this the wrong way. What are is shoulds? You can think along the lines of shoulds but wants seem to be eaiser to go for. He should stay with you but dosen't want to hurt her. What about hurting you?
Try to pin point his shoulds and do your best to make the into wants. exp...
He should stay with your becouse of family. Start doing more fun things as a family. Then maybe the should will turn into want.
When you pinpoint theam break them down and find the first step to want. The family thing is the only thing that I could think of off the top of my head.
You keep saying that they are in la la land it is all fun and games. Maybe you should fight fire with fire. No daily dicsuions, exp.... day to day things like bills and house stuff (The day to day things that weigh us all down) When he start tjo rehash the same R topics (It seems like he ask the same stuff over just phrasees if differ.) Look at him and say, I belive we have had this talk before, I don't want to go over the same old stuff and feel bad about the same old stuff. Basicly just stop it before it gets to the point were one or both of you feel bad.
Try your best to keep things light and fun. We need to look at what is the cheeseless tunnal here. Cause it seems like yall are going over the same stuff. I might be wrong, God knows I am no expert on getting away from the cheeseless tunnal. I still wait for the cheese to be deliver I think.
