Puppy comes at the end of the month. This is a bit of a sticking point between H and me, actually. Kids have wanted one for a long time, and my work pattern means I have a good amount of time off and work at home time between now and the rest of the year - which meant dealing with a puppy would be possible. H was never super keen, but agreed that we could get one after he'd finished his big work thing. But when he left, the breeder said there was one available earlier, so I said we'd take it, and now he sees the dog as evidence of how little his need are catered to. He will tolerate the youngest being v excited about it in fairly good spirit, but if there's ever any slightest bit of conflict between us, he will bring it up as evidence that what he wants doesn't matter to anyone. I don't point out that the timing of it was done entirely around what he wanted, with his agreement, until he didn't live here any more, and as he doesn't live here it doesn't affect him.
Will work on that list this afternoon - I am feeling good today but these things can change pretty quickly. I am going to practice the 4-8-5 breathing in case it comes in handy for me during the therapy session.
I think my role in that session should just be to listen. But she gave us some homework and asked us each to come and ask for one thing we wanted to change about the situation (not that we wanted to change about ourselves, but that we wanted to change in the dynamic - if I understood her right). I know Eldest has been thinking about it a lot. I think I might say I want H and Eldest to stop coming to me and asking me to change the other's behaviour. That I want to listen and be a support but I can't control what either of them does.
