I think he would panic. And then react either of 2 ways: start to pursue me out of fear, or run away to protect himself. I'm not sure either of those would be healthy for either of us. And yes that does affect how long I'm willing to wait. I think at the moment we are both trying to build a safe space and make changes in ourselves. I can't pursue too much or he withdraws, but given I've distanced for most of our relationship I do need to be much warmer towards him and am trying to do that without scaring him off. Dropping the rope would feel like a 180 in a bad way for him perhaps, like 'see? I knew she was always going to abandon me!' even though the main reason would be because he abandoned ME...
I don't know. Our next date (another run and pub dinner) is tomorrow night so I'll see how that goes. I know he's very tired and stressed with work until the end of the month though so I will keep my expectations low. When he's been busy at work has been when I've pursued him the most in the past and that has never gone well because he can't meet my needs when he's in this stage and adding fuel to the fire of his anxiety has really messed things up before. So I'll remind myself to be patient a few more weeks and also remind myself of the positive steps he's made towards me. They'll have to do for now. He's probably doing the best he can for now.
