Loveforever, You are handling yourself so well in your sitch...I admire you. It's been a while since I responded, but I've been following your thread closely. It's so hard to hear my H tell me about his feelings for OW. I hate seeing the look on his face when I know he is missing her or thinking about her. It's very difficult to control myself when he tries to pick fights with me. I think he is looking for reasons to find imperfections in me so he can justify leaving (refresher on our sitch...he is in an apt now...has been since March but I see him often).
I thought we were making great progress recently, but I drove by his apt (first and last time) one night when I had one of my gut feelings, and I saw her truck there. He tried to call me all day the next day but I ignored his calls (as long as I could stand it). It shook him up that "old reliable" me was actually not reachable for once. He was much more attentive for a while, but it didn't last.
We spent most of last weekend together, but I could tell his mind was somewhere else. He just laid around and slept a lot. Last night he dropped our son off, and he told me he was depressed because OW was steering clear of him at work. He said she felt too bad about this sitch hurting my feelings...ya right...like she didn't think about that 2 years ago when they started this thing? Anyway, he proceeded to tell me that it really hurt her when he told her she couldn't be around my S6 anymore (he was "abiding by my wishes"). He is always raving about how smart and mature she is (even tho she is only 20) and that he has never felt this way about anyone before.
I was getting great at detaching for a while, but our conversation last night just threw me in a sinker. August 1st is dday...1 year ago...and I feel like not much has changed. His apt lease is up at the end of August, so he'll need to make a decision as to whether he is coming home or extending it/moving somewhere else. Her 21st bday is coming up next month. I don't know if that will make things worse...they could spend more time in the bars together. Guess I'll worry about that when the time comes.
You're so great at handling your H's questions. I try to follow your examples but usually end up getting mad and defensive and the conversation ends.
I'm seeing a C now, but she is not the kind Michelle recommends so I am getting a lot of "What are the benefits of you being in this relationship" and "I don't know if you are a silly woman or a saint for putting up with this situation". Guess I'll take what I can get out of the 3 free sessions and look for another one.
It seems like you are really doing well for only being 3 months into your sitch. I was a mess at that point, and it's taken me this long to get to a point where I can somewhat concentrate on the rest of my life. I really enjoy reading your updates. Best of luck to you!!
