One thing I’ve given much thought to, and could write a much longer post about, is that if this goes through, what would I want from a dating partner, and potential remarriage. I sometimes wonder if I asked too much of a marriage partner. I also have wondered if I would potentially be happy (or happier) with another woman who is not necessarily Catholic—a Protestant Christian, or someone of another faith tradition, or perhaps even atheist / agnostic; as long as this woman is sympathetic or ‘do no harm’ towards my beliefs or the beliefs I wish to instill in the boys until they are of age to decide for themselves. During undergrad, I know that I drew the attention and affection of young women of non-Catholic traditions—but I wanted to date / marry a Catholic girl. /sigh. This could be a longer post, but this is the Cliffs Notes version of my thoughts on the topic for now.
First let me say how sorry I am that you are in so much pain. I think the paragraph above is your pain talking. Maybe you are questioning yourself a lot, like if you had not been so intent on marrying a woman with the same religious beliefs, and just chose one who was a kind moral person it would have been better.
Well, the longer I live the more I believe in being equally yoked. The more you have that pulls the couple in two separate paths, the more potential problems for the relationship. I mean, just look how difficult it is for blended families. When you start considering different backgrounds, different race and/or cultures, different religious beliefs.........you've got some big, big challenges ahead. I think the more you have in common....the better chance the MR has in lasting.
Your W was is one accord with you and the church's teachings about having children.........that is, until she had to go through it. I don't how many religions teach natural family planning, but I don't think there are as many modern women who practice it, as there once were. That's just my observation, of course. Anyway, you look at how disappointed you were at your W's change of view point after she had her first child and how angry she became at you after becoming pregnant the second time........and you could not really bring yourself to use birth control, so how do you think that will work if you should M a woman who does not share the same views about family planning? I mean, if there is one thing a man and wife should agree on is whether or not to use birth control.
This is just one issue, but it's a big one. It's an important one to you, and whoever you choose to M. So, I suggest you stay within your religious faith when it comes to dating. I think your strongest love is for your faith......and I think you would not feel complete if you could not fully practice what you believe.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
The more you have that pulls the couple in two separate paths, the more potential problems for the relationship. I mean, just look how difficult it is for blended families. When you start considering different backgrounds, different race and/or cultures, different religious beliefs.........you've got some big, big challenges ahead. I think the more you have in common....the better chance the MR has in lasting. 