Hi TryHard. Thanks for your comments and suggestions on my thread.
I wonder if checking up on her and following her is the best thing for you right now. You have already let her know what your boundary is, and you seem certain she is in an active affair in spite of it. Why do you need more evidence? Why do you need to have more conversations with her about it?
I am no expert, but my IC told me that you never need to do much talking or explaining of boundaries. You just take your action as you see fit. I end phone calls when my H starts speaking to me disrespectfully and I tell him why. When I try to convince him to keep to my boundary it never works. Apparently, the less you say and the more quietly and firmly and consistently you act, the better.
