Thanks Job. I went back and read through TMAK yet again and some other threads on reconnection. He hasn't done anything that wise people such as yourself didn't predict long ago. In the TMAK it talks about how they will tell you things they have done to see if you can accept them. I think he is doing that, although in his usual disordered fashion indirectly through my child. In the threads I read it also discussed that they will pull away throughout reconnection and reemerge. I imagine he will do that. I hope for S that he does.
S had to call him yesterday because of something we needed to pick up that he and S had dropped off the other day (and for some reason they put OD's name on it and not mine). He answered the phone right away and immediately sent S what he needed, so I guess that is something. In the past he would not have answered a call from one of the children. I think he was too afraid. No mention of the race though.
I watched S closely last night and this a.m. as I drove him to his event. He seems OK. I didn't see any wallowing or depression or sense of sadness. Thankfully it is a beautiful day here and his race is outside and he is with his friends.
I know you are right about him seeing me as a maternal figure. I don't know how to put an end to that other than not responding as a maternal figure. I think it has just been a rough few days in general and I am feeling that anxiousness TMAK describes, waiting for him to disappoint S yet again. I have to stop these negative expectations.
