I think you are doing a great job hanging in the game. And dealing with some hell of tough R talks.
Quote: The next day I went out, he came home earlier than usual, called me to see if I was coming home. I said yeah I'll be there in a bit. I took my time instead of rushing home. When I got there, he told me that he missed me. He said he feels really bad for me, that he goes out while I am alone.
Is there something that both of you can do so that you don't have to stay home while he goes out. Maybe go with him (someplace that you know the Ow won't be) If you don't drink have a coke, maybe shoot some pool or something. Try to think of a few thing yall can do. Or places that yall can go to and have some fun. What would you do if you was dating him instead of being married.
Quote: He told me that he is not 'happy' anymore on the new meds. I said that on the old meds he felt numb, emotionless, does he mean that he feels more emotion now with the new ones? He said kind of, that he feels very anxious now, that he is more worried.
This may or may not be a good sign. That is something that needs to be checked. It may mean that the meds are working and with everything that is going on is makeing hime anxious. Or it may be a sign that the meds aren't working.
Quote: The next day, I asked him if I could go the gym with him on the guest pass. (he had suggested this before) He said sure. We went together and he started showing me all the different equipment and what exercises to do etc.. It was nice, and I think he was kind of excited to share this part of his world with me. He told me that if I want, I could get a membership and that he could be like my trainer. I told him I would think about it. I have decided to join, it will give us another connection besides our son. It is something he enjoys to do, it will help me lose weight and get in shape, and be another thing that OW is not a part of....
Hey that's great. It will do ya good to have something to do together. And you will have the added bouse of seatting a day or evening of the week to be with him and the Ow isn't in the pic. That is exactly what I was trying to suggest. If you find one thing that both of you can concet with and have fun. Maybe that will lead to spending more time with you and less with her.
Quote: got an upsetting call from my mother, she has extremely high blood pressure and the docs told her she is in danger of having a stroke. This is all out of the blue, my mom was very upset, thinks she is going to die. The doc told her to avoid stress as much as possible. GREAT!! I was thinking of telling my parents about my sitch in 1 month, after my bro's wedding. How can I tell her now? This will kill her (literally). My H seen I was upset and came over and comforted me. I told him that I can't tell my parents yet cause of my mom's health, he agreed.
(((Loveforever))) I hate to hear this about your mother. On top of what you are dealing with I know you don't need to be worrying about your mom. Maybe with the right meds and no stress about brother's wedding it will go down. I wished there was something I could say or do for you
Quote: .He also talked about finances, says that he has no money, that he wants to pay off our debt asap. He said that he may get a part time job to get extra cash. (yeah, because he racked up the 1 credit card he has by going out with OW, and he spends his 2 week spending allowance in less then 2 days out with OW. I have always been in charge of money, I gave him a budget to follow and he is having problems keeping up...) Well, I guess the expense of being in lala land is starting to become a problem!
Hey that may be a good thing for you. If the expense of the Ow gets to much it might tip the scale more in your fav.. If I was you I would keep the same budget you have already. If he feels like he needs a 2nd job, let him take it. He will see working 2 jobs and trying to live 2 lifes is not so easy. It might make hime think about what all you do and what she doesen't.
Quote: Later when we went to sleep, he told me that he wishes he still loved me, I said me too. He asked me what I would do if we stopped ML for a few months - would I find another guy to do that with? I said no, that I am not like that, I don't need to go out looking for sex. He said okay.
(this is the third time he has talked about me having sex with someone else - he is constantly telling me to date someone else, not to wait for him, however he did tell me to let him know if I acutally had sex with another. Another time he mentioned that if I start dating someone, eventually they are going to want to sleep with me, what will I do? Now he is asking me what I will do if we stop ML.)
Honey as much as the embresses me to say (Thank goodness for screen names and that you can't see how red my face is) But I will say it anyway. There or other ways to get your jollies with out a man. Maybe your H hasn't thought of it but people and I mean a lot of people have gone with out ML. Some people on this site have went years in their M without ML. I know this because I lurk on the the Sexual Issues and the Sex_straved Marriage fourms. I think in my case my H thought I wouldn't do anything about it. He knows how embressed I get about this stuff. But when I hit my point of being feed-up of doing with out. I decied that I would do something about it.I know that I had lasted 7 months with out my jollies. And you should have seen the look on H's face when I came home with my toy. You can tell your husband that there are women you stay in sexless marriages and still live. Going with out ML will not kill you. Makes you very witchy at times. And that there are women who don't need a man to make them happy (and I am not talking about needing other women ethier. I know that is what my H thought when I said that to him.) The hardest thing is finding a soultion to the proublem.
Quote: Well, he is going out with her tonight. I also just realized that our 3rd wedding anniv. is in 2 weeks, on the day of the week that he goes out with her. I wonder if he will remember? I wonder if he will still go with her? I am not looking forward to it.
I really wished that he would rember it. But What I would do is make alt. plans that is just for you in case he doesn't. Think of someplace close and affordable that you really been wantting to stay or go. Take a trip to a day spa or something. Ask yourself what is it that you have been wanting and get or do it. But please don't be like I was and stay home and obsse over it. Trust me on this it dosen't do any good.
Now that I have really gotten myself totaly embressed. I think it is time to go. Hope you are hanging in there.
