I applaud you for all of that. Self insight is hard won but you're getting there. And you're probably right about having the resources to sort yourself whereas he might not do. Though it does sound like he's trying. Maybe he needs to trust you as well as you trusting him? It's a two way process!
The months and months thing: you must have taken years to get to that kind of marriage, and you say yourself that you have a lot of work to do on yourself still, so why the hurry? It is sooooo hard to be patient, but it will take time to fix things I think. I think as long as things are moving in the right direction then that's positive (and I say that as someone talking about deadlines on my thread, I know, I'm really vacillating over this!)
