I share your fears. Fear of being stuck in a relationship that is cold and empty, and fear of being left. It's a hard place to be. Perhaps our H's are in similar places.
Have you ever tried writing him a letter? Perhaps the R conversation won't go so well, but maybe if you are able to lay out what you want that would help you to be vulnerable and give him the space and privacy to process it so he won't over-react in the moment.
Do you have small steps on the way to those specific changes? So sex - that feels like a big hurdle. But perhaps if you saw him initiating physical contact, or wanting to sleep over, or reintroducing kissing - that might be stages on the way?
Does he worry about money? Did he grow up poor? He seems so motivated in work that he doesn't really seem to enjoy - and I find that very strange. Does he understand why he's so compelled by his work?
