13 years and 2 kids pt. 5

[Hurt213]

Journaling a bit.

Hi everyone.

So things are going alright for me. I've been researching a lot lately on life as a single dad, and what to be cautious about. It has been really good for me, because I take it as a sign, that I have embraced my near future, and I am now setting my self up in a good position to move forward.

My ex has been handling all contact with the real estate brokers, and I just asked to be cc'ed on the correspondence. She has taken action, and is pulling the entire load of getting the house sold, which at this point is fine. I am not doing the work, however I am absolutely not standing in her way.

So in 14 days the new real estate broker is making a new marketing push for the house, and will bring new photographers etc. Thats all fine.

In 4 weeks we have easter holiday, and we have decided to inform our daughter of the fact that mommy and daddy will not live together anymore, but she gets to have two rooms, and that we love her very much. At the beginning of this, I was very adamant on the fact that she should know, that "mommy doesnt love daddy any more and this is all moms fault". That was childish, and that was pushing our problems onto our children. I am luckily that much wiser and more healed today. My ex knows what she did, and she will live with that knowledge to her dying day. Thats enough for me. My kids are not going to be apart of that. If they want to know as grown ups, then thats another talk, but that is many years into the future.

Our youngest son is only just turned two, and doesnt understand, so there is no real sense in including him in the talk.

Friday I dropped off the kids, and went to the gym. after the gym I went out for dinner with some friends. Saturday I played a round of golf with a female friend of mine (just a friend - but also a recent divorcee, although 1 year ahead of me, so she and I talked a bit about how her life is great today, and what I have coming - that was nice to hear).

Today I am going to visit my mom and dad, and we are driving to the ocean to go for a long walk and just get some nice air and some quality time.

I feel sad from time to time, that this happened, and it still is sometimes unreal to me. But I am moving forward, because it is what I need to have a good life for me and my kids.

I will never sit down and accept the OM in my ex's life, because he took part in destroying my family, and did it knowing, that there were two little children involved. I can't respect a person with those morals, even though he might be a person who gets to be around my kids. Thats not happening. However I do wish that she finds the happiness that she is searching for, and should that be with a new man, then I will sit down, and talk with him. I am at that point, where the past is the past, and I need to find a woman that RESPECTS me, and at the same time, a woman that I can TRUST.

Those two highlighted words, are qualities, that I hold dear, and I am not sure, that I am up for the challenge of trying to regain those with my ex, should she come pleading for me, because frankly, too much has been done and said I think.

/hurt