I am so impressed by what you did. That took so much strength and character. Just the reaching out to him alone, and then realizing that you were overcome by anger and asking for time, apologizing for actions, and remaining true to what you want.
I think you have to let go of the divorce talk and the ILB talk and not dwell on them. I've read a lot of reconnection and reconciliation threads over the years. I think it takes a long, long time for the love to be able to come forward. It is not uncommon for them to repeat these things. When every interaction is an unpleasant and tough talk, it is hard to feel that feeling. You did your best not to go there, but it sounds like this stuff needed to be said. I'm sure he thinks he wants the divorce because he wants to stop hurting and he doesn't know what else to do. But you know it won't and deep down he probably knows it to.
I think you took a huge step in walking toward him, in acknowledging your issues, in addressing the elephant in the room (his parents). I think for discernment therapy they ask for a 6 month or year long commitment to the process. I wouldn't give it any less time than that. It seems that he is in a place that he can admit some things, and own up to things, as you can. I think if you can bring that honesty in your sessions, both for the bad feelings and the good ones, you guys will get a lot of the process.
I imagine it was hard and unpleasant at times, but you probably did more work on your marriage in that one conversation than in years' previous.
