loveforever,

Sorry I havn't kept up with posting. I didn't want to post while I was on pain meds.

You are doing a great job. BoldNBeautiful is right your are one strong women. I know I would be able to handle the questions that H ask you.

You are doing the right thing of looking at the sitch. And seeing where the anger is coming form instead of reacting to the anger. And I belvie you done the right thing and didn't say what is on your mind when H bourght up Ow. Sometimes biting your tongue is the best couse of action.
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He went to take a shower, he asked me why I was sad, I said because it bothers me that he can talk about us being apart as if it doesn't matter. He said it does matter, but even though it makes me sad, that doesn't mean that it won't happen. I didn't say anything, then he asked me to take a shower with him, I said okay. He hugged me and told me that I can find another guy and be happy. I told him that I don't need a guy to make me happy, that happiness comes from within, that people just add to your own happiness. I told him that I know I could find a guy no problem, but that wouldn't make me feel any better about our sitch.


That was the perfect thing to say when asked about your changes. And a great way to point out that you are not looking for OM. I belive the reason H wants you to find someone else is so he won't feel so guilty about what he is doing.
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He just called me at work just to say hi???
he used to call me all the time, but recently stopped.


YES!!! I am so glad that some of the little things or showing up again. That has to be a great sign of a baby step.
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Should I continue to be patient? I am getting scared because I think he may push for a real separation just so he doesn't have to lie to OW, and to convince himself that we are over. Should I tell him that he needs to be honest with OW, that he isn't being fair to either one of us, that she has a right to know what is going on, and what effect their A is having on our family?
(I think if she knew the absolute truth she would back off).

Or should I just continue to db and take care of myself, as he gets closer and closer to her????

I really don't know how to anwser these question. The only thing I can come up with is: You know you and H better than anyone else. Take a look at each option and think really hard. Ask yourself (about each option.) Would this bring me closer or farther a way form my gaols. Then go form there.

I would be so sure that if Ow knew what effect the affair was haivng on the family would cause her to back off. She knew he was married and that yall are still married. And she hasn't backed off yet.

There is a post up in other Mariage Busted forum I think will help you feel a little better. (Sorry I don't know how to thread it but I wiil give you the name.) I belive it is the second one. It is called treesa2's story. I belive the mondiator pasted it there.

Hope this helps a little
Kat